biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

accidentalanarchy1305:

technogodhead:

technogodhead:

me, in the apocalypse, wearing nothing but a silken robe and slippers, carrying a large, polished antique sword that i stole from a museum in one hand, and a wine glass filled with apple juice in the other: would you like to come back to my….manure 

a group of survivors, wearing unkempt and ripped clothes, holding their guns protectively: you mean….manor? 

me, smiling smugly, knowing what i said: sure

the survivors, upon discovering that my abode is, in fact, a large barn: we were expecting a mansion 

me, opening the doors slowly to allow them inside: it is a mansion………………..for horses  

I have so many questions and i am to afraid to ask any.

you are a coward. i am no coward, but i have no questions.