openblogtomyabusivemother:

Wow. General world, never ever ask a child abuse survivor why they didn’t tell anyone sooner. Even if you mean it innocently, it implies they did something wrong. THEY WERE JUST A CHILD. And if they didn’t speak up about it even when they were an adult, it’s because the abuse of a human during its development normalizes abuse and results in the abused having no idea they were/are abused.

Here’s what’s appropriate to say:

“Wow. I’m sorry. That is so tough. I’m glad you were able to realize you were abused and speak about it. You’re smart to have figured that out against such odds and so strong for being able to talk about such a deeply painful thing.”

If you’re curious to know more, here’s an appropriate question:

“What made you realize you were abused?”

No “Why didn’t you…” sentences. Just no. They’ve been through enough. Don’t make them suffer through you too.