lesbeet:

you can try to defend the beauty industry all you want but aside from that video of the girl chemically burning the shit out of her face on purpose to make a “permanent contour” i also know women in my life who have gotten their eyebrows and their eyeliner tattooed on (respectively) simply because they thought it was a better alternative than applying them onto their faces every single day for the rest of their lives or risk being judged/ridiculed/punished by society

like think of how delicate the skin of the eye is where your eyeliner goes. imagine getting a fucking tattoo there. imagine thinking that pain is worth it because you feel so doomed to wearing makeup and yet so exhausted by the sheer idea of putting it on every day for the rest of your life

one of these women is my grandmother and the other is my aunt’s grandmother, and both of them have explicitly told me that they regret getting these tattoos, and neither of them got them redone when they eventually faded, years and years later. this isn’t a matter of “they love makeup and it helps them express themselves so let them do what they want!” it’s a matter of desperation, of resignation to the constraints and expectations of a society that wants women to look fuckable at literally all costs, even if it means undergoing significant, and even permanent, physical harm.

“beauty is pain” is just another (condescending) way of saying “your priority should be your looks, not your personal well-being” and no amount of loving makeup as a hobby and form of self-expression is going to make that stop being true

sixdrinkames:

juniorjewel:

baptisms:

anyone else fucking LOVE BEING IN BED???

bitch im in bed right now!! how did you know!!

reblog if ur in bed

thexfiles:

i’m mentally ill too but fucking listen to me here. you need to take responsibility for your actions regardless of whether or not they’re a product of your mental illness. you don’t get to manipulate, gaslight, take advantage of, or straight up abuse people because you’re mentally ill! you don’t! what the fuck! why are some of you still thinking it’s okay to say things like “manipulation is okay because i have _____ and need attention from my significant other” oh my god. Don’t fucking do that

Interviewer: what sort of things have you accomplished in your life?
Me: idk I’m pretty proud of my right eyebrow

boatiechat:

polythought:

I’m going to give the benefit of the doubt here and assume that you’re someone who’s willing to listen and learn and potentially enlarge your worldview. On that note:

• You said, “Every open/poly relationship I have ever seen…” to which I would say: Remember that people in happy relationships tend to be quieter about them. You’re always going to hear when things go wrong. Drama is interesting. But when things go right? Those aren’t the people you’re hearing from. You probably have quietly happy poly friends you don’t even know are poly. So if the only open relationships you’ve seen have ended terribly, consider that you are probably only seeing a certain subsection of open relationships. I know all sorts of poly people who are not out to everyone about their relationships. And, if you’ve ever shared the views you just shared with me with people you know IRL, that might mean they deliberately don’t tell you about their happy poly relationships because they’ve already learned that you’re critical of polyamory. 
• I don’t really know what to say about your claims about “TRUE” love and one person loving the other more except to say that’s demonstrably false. Yes, I’m sure an imbalance like that happens sometimes. Consider that people often open unhealthy relationships in an attempt to save them (not a recommended course of action; it usually ends badly, like the situations you’ve described). But other people have open relationships because that’s how they’re true to themselves and it’s exactly how they are the best partner possible to other people. I can tell you this: I have known for years that I could never be married unless it was an open marriage. I knew that to experience “TRUE” love required me to be non-monogamous. I can’t be happy long-term in a monogamous relationship, no matter how good a relationship it is. But by being polyamorous, I am able to make long-term commitments (and have done so). This is what works for me…and I’m not the only one.
• It’s interesting that you say “one person always feels rejected and unloved.” I feel even more loved when I’m in an open relationship. Sound unlikely? I’ll explain. When I know that I’m not stopping someone from being with anyone else, then I know with great confidence that they’re with me for me. They’re not with me because they don’t know if they can get someone else. They’re not with me because they’re afraid to be single. They’re with me even though they have the ability to be with (and maybe are with) other people. This makes me feel chosen totally freely, and it makes me feel exceptionally loved. It’s pretty great.

A few other things to add:
– there doesn’t need to be “two original people”. Not all polyamorous relationships start with a closed couple. Starting like this and then “opening up” a relationship is a huge change, so of course there’s going to be people who realize it’s not for them. But you’re literally looking at only one type of scenario. 
A lot of polyamorous people are polyamorous even when they are single, and introduce themselves as such to potential partners. A lot of polyamorous people date other polyamorous people. A lot of polyamorous relationships start with people who already have other partners.
Some of those relationships end in heartbreak, some end amicably, some continue for a long time or just a few months … Just like monogamous relationships.
– being in a polyamorous relationship doesn’t have to make you feel unloved, unappreciated, or insecure. If that is how you would feel, then polyamory might not be for you (or, if you continue reading about it or discussing it, you might change your mind). A lot of people feel accomplished, understood and secure in polyamorous relationships. I know I do.

cinnaluna:

*someone calls my name*

Me, to the fuzzy land of disassociation I’m stuck in: oh shit that’s me guys, gotta go